Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Theory

This is to be my after-dark blog. My write-in-bed blog. Don't expect literature.

I have a very nice daylight blog. I don't post much, but what I do post I work hard on. The thing is, I still have secrets. I hate secrets, but I have them. And the people in my daylight world, I don't want them to know about these things.

If you are part of my secret world, welcome. Don't get too close, please. Or I'll have to retreat further.
I met her tonight. I was stunned. I'd expected someone awkward, a little odd. Instead she seemed warm, open, and oh she's heart wrenchingly beautiful. Smaller than me, maybe. Dark haired and dark eyed. I could look at her all day.

I didn't think once, until just this moment, about the fact that she has perfectly smooth labia. And, um, now I can't stop thinking about it.
They left early. I hope it was because they couldn't wait to fuck again.

It makes me hurt, thinking that. It scares me and titillates me and hurts in a way that is enervating and horrible and happy. That's jealousy.

That's jealousy for me.
So, alright. I'm writing a journal and calling it a blog. I'm not going to go back and edit this and call it a story and put it in a book. I just need to tell my secrets. I need them out of my head and off of the page in out in the world where they will find others with the same secrets and whisper together, and let go of some of their loneliness.

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